Cautious to avoid red tape and complicated forms, prospective pet owners often steer clear of adopting shelter dogs. However, the process is no more difficult than purchasing a pair of last season’s jeans that, without your intervention, would have been euthanized.
Dogs and shoes can live together in harmony provided both are willing to compromise. To reach an accord, dogs have to be trained to respect shoes, while shoes must agree to limit all provocative missile test launches over disputed borders.
Dogs use their teeth to explore the world much the way we use the Internet. A dog’s mouth and tongue serve as router and modem, while its excretory system works like Comcast.
Witty Physics would have us believe that drying a dog is the same as wetting a dog, only backwards, if you follow the math.
Apparently, Physics has never dried a dog. Or owned one. Or been on a date since 1990. So thanks anyway, Physics. We’ll take it from here.
Black dogs tend to be passed over for adoption because they are associated with evil. Yet studies have proved that relatively few actively worship Satan.
How different the rules for crate training a dog would be had the Constitution of the United States been signed by Thomas Jefferson’s hound, Monroe Doctrine.