An Objection to Dog Park Ejection

I was kicked out of the dog park because no canine would vouch for me.


Fake News About Shelter Dogs

Cautious to avoid red tape and complicated forms, prospective pet owners often steer clear of adopting shelter dogs. However, the process is no more difficult than purchasing a pair of last season’s jeans that, without your intervention, would have been euthanized.


Don’t Worry. He’s Vicious…

Whether to walk a dog leashed or off leash is roiling into the sort of controversy not seen since America asked itself, “Who shot J.R.?” Many still suspect it was an off-leash dog.


Ask a Terrier: Dogs Are A Bargain! Except For The Money

Budleigh explains how dogs save Giants cash.

Whatever that is.

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Why Everyone Hates Your Dog, By Which I Mean My Dog

Canines have lived in symbiotic harmony with humans for more than 30,000 years. Except in my neighborhood.


Bully for Budleigh!

Like humans, canines have been known to bully their own species, although they rarely steal lunch money and never send harassing texts due to the absence of thumbs.


Ask a Terrier: Budleigh Offers Food for Thought

What’s a healthy food choice for dogs? Roscoe the Beagle doesn’t care!

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Ask a Terrier: Washing Machines of Mass Destruction

Budleigh-bookshelf-eye-darkened-V2Lily is afraid of things that go bump in the night. And in the laundry room.

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Ask a Terrier: Oh, Great…Another New Collar

ask-a-terrier-main-pic-w-bookshelfIn time for the holidays, Budleigh’s do’s and don’ts…mostly don’ts…on choosing the right dog collar.

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Opinion(s): How the Dogs Are Voting

When it comes to political campaigns, dogs pay no attention to the news media, except for Wolf Blitzer whose name, they complain, is misleading.


Shoes and Socks – A Taste Test, Part 3: Positive Reinforcement or ‘They Made Me a Criminal!’

Dogs and shoes can live together in harmony provided both are willing to compromise. To reach an accord, dogs have to be trained to respect shoes, while shoes must agree to limit all provocative missile test launches over disputed borders.


Shoes and Socks – A Taste Test, Part 2: Socks

Any dog serving prison time for chewing shoes will eagerly admit that socks served as a gateway drug. And that he’s a Good Boy!

Budleigh steals socks. That isn’t his fault. We Giants failed him. As did society. And the apparel industry. He no longer chews them as he did during his house-pet-in-training probationary apprenticeship. Just, ya’ know, sort of steals them. For the kicks, man! The thrill! School is for squares, daddio!


Grooming Tips, Part 3: The Drying Game

Witty Physics would have us believe that drying a dog is the same as wetting a dog, only backwards, if you follow the math.

Apparently, Physics has never dried a dog. Or owned one. Or been on a date since 1990. So thanks anyway, Physics. We’ll take it from here.


Grooming Tips, Part 2: Bathing your Dog – The New Waterboarding

Understanding the challenges of bath time, the pet care industry has developed an array of shampoo products that ease the torment faced by your dog and the unpaid college intern you’ve assigned to the task. The most appropriate soap should be one formulated to lather well while convincing your dog that he’s done nothing wrong.


Grooming Tips: Best Practices for You, Your Dog, and Your Fingers

Anyone who has safely landed a powered aircraft in severe weather without the benefit of instrumentation, aircrew or their vision has all the skills needed to successfully groom a dog.


Black Dogs: Danger…or Menace?

Black dogs tend to be passed over for adoption because they are associated with evil. Yet studies have proved that relatively few actively worship Satan.


Poisoning your Dog: A Thanksgiving Primer

With all the dangers to pets posed by ingesting turkey skin, chocolates, raisins, sweets, and other holiday fare, it’s a wonder that dogs celebrate Thanksgiving at all.


Adopting a Dog: It Takes a Village. Also a Pooper Scooper

We rescued a terrier, although why anyone would is beyond me.

Terriers are what dingos strive to be – wild dogs semi-domesticated because there’s something in it for them. Terriers are the The Joker of the animal kingdom.