Words, not deeds! Just the columns.
The Blade and the Pot Holder
Nowhere is a honed proficiency in karate more valuable than when it comes to survival in the kitchen. It’s why martial artist Betty Crocker was so feared and respected by rival chefs.
Good to the First Drop
In the historical debate whether coffee is a beneficial or unhealthy drink, the fundamental question is, did I make it?
The Way of the Badass
Bruce Lee was bad for karate.
Were he still with us, I’m confident that comment would momentarily intrigue him enough not to hurt me.
Avocados and Butterfingers
No nutritional plan is complete that doesn’t include avocados and Butterfingers. The first is proven Science; the second, what I really, really want to believe!
Hey Doc, It Hoits When I Go Like ‘Dat!
Learning your family health history can be a valuable medical resource. And the best way to discover that history is to talk with your tipsy Uncle Max at Thanksgiving.
Axing for a Friend!
Spiritual tranquility, serene mind, and peaceful outlook are healthy mental attitudes best developed by throwing deadly sharp axes!
The Eyes Don’t Have It
As we age, the biggest threat to maintaining high-quality eyesight is, of course, my butt.
Okay, there’s a lot to unpack here.
Dog Park Canines Agog Over Book Award!
An NIEA Award goes to Sleeping between Giants Book 2!
Is it a news release?
Is it? . . .
A! I Got ‘yer Artificial Intelligence. Right HERE!
The existential threat from artificial intelligence is as misunderstood, misconstrued, and misinterpreted as the word “existential”.
Bursting Whose Balloon?
The threat from recently downed spy balloons is exaggerated, agree even the most conspiracy-minded national security heads including many of our Blue Lizard Alien overlords.
Exciting News about Sleeping between Giants!
Click on the link and prepare to be … teased!
IRS Concerned That Faces Not Ringing Bells
Having recently unveiled plans to use facial recognition software on taxpayers, the Internal Revenue Service just as recently unveiled plans not to—a contradiction one might expect were the department run by Batman’s nemesis Two-Face.
Ask a Terrier: Extolling Consoling
The loss of their dog, Izzy, hit this family hard. Will a new companion help?
Budleigh’s gone through this, too. He offers advice, Canine to Giant, from personal experience.
Ask a Terrier: Budleigh! (-udleigh-udleigh…) In! (-iin-iin…) Space! (-ace-ace…)
“I come in peace!” says would-be astronaut Budleigh.
“Oh, and can I have a piece of what you’re eating?”
Join Budleigh on his Conquest of Space!
Ask a Terrier: The Truth Ain’t Out There!
The Pentagon has released its long-awaited report on UFOs.
If Canines learned anything from The X-Files, it’s “Trust no one.”
Unless they have cookies!
Budleigh reveals all.
Ask a Terrier: Paper Training
In this sacred holiday time of gift wrap, Budleigh reveals why it’s the Season of Paper Shredding.
Ask a Terrier: Don’t Hold the Phone!
Zoe the Poodle’s credo: “What’s yours is mine. And what’s mine is mine!”
But when it comes to stealing a cell phone, Budleigh must help a Giant make the call.
Ask a Terrier: Wake Up and Smell the COVID!
Are you a working dog if it’s just your nose?
Budleigh examines how Canines are helping fight the coronavirus.
Ask a Terrier: Unmasking the Mask
If you click your heels together three times and wish very hard, do you still need to wear a face mask?
Budleigh explains why, to wear a face mask you have to use your head.
Ask a Terrier: Zooming Isn’t Like Running
A new humor column during troubling times.
So, up yours, Covid!
Ask a Terrier: Sheltering Outside the Shelter
How’s the dog food holding up?
Canine worries in our pandemic times.
Budleigh calms.
Ask a Terrier: How the Dogs Are Voting
It’s more than a right. It’s a duty.
Oh, and there’s treats!
Budleigh explains voting.
Ask a Terrier: Budleigh Addresses a Royal Pain
Although a staunch defender of the working class…as well as the herding, non-sporting, and toy groups…Budleigh sympathizes with the plight of Royals.
Ask a Terrier: Mark of the Hallmark
Hallmark Christmas movies can prove binge-worthy, claims a reader.
Budleigh agrees. And he can binge with the best!
Ask a Terrier: It’s In the Bag!
Fashion forward or fashion ferocious?
Style grrr-ru Budleigh reviews the fall line of designer dog carriers.
(Ya’ get it? Grrr-ru? I swear, I don’t know how we come up with these!)
Ask a Terrier: Semper Canis!
The U.S. Postal Service has released a new stamp honoring military working dogs.
But are they “Terrier Strong” wonders Budleigh.
Ask a Terrier: Talkin’ TED
Have you taught your dog to speak?
Then she’s ready to give a TED Talk!
Budleigh explains.
Ask a Terrier: Just How Infra is Our Structure?
They paved Paradise / And put up a… a…
What did they put up?
Budleigh laments.
Wow! That Smarts!
Dogs are stupider than we thought, although probably they’d argue the point if they had a clue.
Ask a Terrier: Budleigh Goes All Scatolog-ICK-al!
“We are what we poop!” goes the old adage.
Well, among dogs, explains Budleigh.
Fake News About Shelter Dogs
Cautious to avoid red tape and complicated forms, prospective pet owners often steer clear of adopting shelter dogs. However, the process is no more difficult than purchasing a pair of last season’s jeans that, without your intervention, would have been euthanized.
Dogs vs. Holiday Meals: Fa-La-La-La-Laaa, La, Aach! Haauk! Blaarf!
In this festive season of holiday parties, bountiful meals, and homemade cookies embellished with those silver ball-bearing things, take comfort knowing that your canines are in the dog park, plotting.
Don’t Worry. He’s Vicious…
Whether to walk a dog leashed or off leash is roiling into the sort of controversy not seen since America asked itself, “Who shot J.R.?” Many still suspect it was an off-leash dog.
Why Everyone Hates Your Dog, By Which I Mean My Dog
Canines have lived in symbiotic harmony with humans for more than 30,000 years. Except in my neighborhood.
Ask a Terrier: Destroy All Monsters!
Hideous creatures lurk in Poolie’s backyard. Are they dangerous?
No, advises Budleigh. They’re delicious!
Marketing Your Dog
In full-throated summer, colorful, chaotic farmers markets offer a hot weather oasis where you can shop for locally produced, organically grown corn while your dog is torn apart by vicious, unsupervised hellhounds.
Ask a Terrier: Budleigh Reminds Vacationers, “Hey, Ya’ Got this Dog Here!”
“Hurrah, road trip!” cheers mixed-breed Hanover. “Where am I not going?”
Budleigh commiserates.
A Quiet, Retiring Dog
How heart-warming when a professional dog can retire before she’s blown up. So many of us just settle for Medicare.
Ask a Terrier: Cloning Has Budleigh Seeing Double
Is cloning dogs Mad Science or just, ya’ know, Slightly Annoyed Science?
Budleigh ponders.
Dogs of a Feather
On a commercial flight, the benefit of sitting next to a peacock outweighs the drawbacks. During a midair emergency I plan to grab anything with wings that might provide extra lift.
Dogs in recovery
Canines recovering from surgery offer humans valuable lessons about proper ways to heal. For example, we shouldn’t lick sutures. Not ours or theirs.
Halloween and the Hound from…if Not Hell, then Nearby
While Halloween is a whimsical time for children, it can be disquieting for dogs and even more troubling for dog owners unaccustomed to working with the violent criminally insane.
Pet Safety for the End of the World
Dog owners are worried about how best to protect their pets against the upcoming Great American Eclipse – an astronomical event described by President Trump’s handpicked climate and science advisor as, “When the huge, flying Sky Serpent swallows the Fiery Sun Goddess.”
For Dogs, A Giant Health Care Problem
While Americans worry over the plight of affordable health care, their dogs are more anxious than they’ve been since the Great Bacon Rebellion of 1890.
Bully for Budleigh!
Like humans, canines have been known to bully their own species, although they rarely steal lunch money and never send harassing texts due to the absence of thumbs.
Last-minute gifts for the dog who has – or chews – everything.
Because of the chaos that comes with taking your dog to the store for a holiday present, instead consider giving him a gift card or, depending on the breed, cash.
Workin’ Dog or Hardly Workin’?
To own a working dog can be appealing, especially for families that tend to wander aimlessly across the landscape in large, unmanageable herds.
Opinion(s): How the Dogs Are Voting
When it comes to political campaigns, dogs pay no attention to the news media, except for Wolf Blitzer whose name, they complain, is misleading.
Shoes and Socks – A Taste Test, Part 3: Positive Reinforcement or ‘They Made Me a Criminal!’
Dogs and shoes can live together in harmony provided both are willing to compromise. To reach an accord, dogs have to be trained to respect shoes, while shoes must agree to limit all provocative missile test launches over disputed borders.
Shoes and Socks – A Taste Test, Part 2: Socks
Any dog serving prison time for chewing shoes will eagerly admit that socks served as a gateway drug. And that he’s a Good Boy!
Budleigh steals socks. That isn’t his fault. We Giants failed him. As did society. And the apparel industry. He no longer chews them as he did during his house-pet-in-training probationary apprenticeship. Just, ya’ know, sort of steals them. For the kicks, man! The thrill! School is for squares, daddio!
Shoes and Socks: A Taste Test
Dogs use their teeth to explore the world much the way we use the Internet. A dog’s mouth and tongue serve as router and modem, while its excretory system works like Comcast.
Grooming Tips, Part 3: The Drying Game
Witty Physics would have us believe that drying a dog is the same as wetting a dog, only backwards, if you follow the math.
Apparently, Physics has never dried a dog. Or owned one. Or been on a date since 1990. So thanks anyway, Physics. We’ll take it from here.
Grooming Tips, Part 2: Bathing your Dog – The New Waterboarding
Understanding the challenges of bath time, the pet care industry has developed an array of shampoo products that ease the torment faced by your dog and the unpaid college intern you’ve assigned to the task. The most appropriate soap should be one formulated to lather well while convincing your dog that he’s done nothing wrong.
Grooming Tips: Best Practices for You, Your Dog, and Your Fingers
Anyone who has safely landed a powered aircraft in severe weather without the benefit of instrumentation, aircrew or their vision has all the skills needed to successfully groom a dog.
Drawing a Line in the Sand in your Bed
In a perfect world, dogs don’t sleep on the bed. But we don’t live in a perfect world. We live in Budleigh’s.
Black Dogs: Danger…or Menace?
Black dogs tend to be passed over for adoption because they are associated with evil. Yet studies have proved that relatively few actively worship Satan.
Poisoning your Dog: A Thanksgiving Primer
With all the dangers to pets posed by ingesting turkey skin, chocolates, raisins, sweets, and other holiday fare, it’s a wonder that dogs celebrate Thanksgiving at all.
A Night in the Box: Crate Training the Convict Dog
How different the rules for crate training a dog would be had the Constitution of the United States been signed by Thomas Jefferson’s hound, Monroe Doctrine.
Adopting a Dog: It Takes a Village. Also a Pooper Scooper
We rescued a terrier, although why anyone would is beyond me.
Terriers are what dingos strive to be – wild dogs semi-domesticated because there’s something in it for them. Terriers are the The Joker of the animal kingdom.